“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”
Jay Leno

“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.”
Anonymous

“Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.”
Anonymous

“Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.”
Tom Sims

“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”
Bernard Manning